I Am A Beee

2012-01-16T23:05:00.002+08:00

she sucks at her primary job and failed like a firetrucking retard. crushed my emotions and flushed it down the filthy drain, so blatantly and insensitively that forgiveness is an unthinkable act.

XMAS FUDGING SUCKS.

2011-12-25T15:47:00.002+08:00

John Lennon was an ass.

2011-12-10T01:07:00.001+08:00

I was a married man.

But my woman bored me out.

So I found another.

While my ring lingered around.

Wifey wasn't home one day.

But she, the other one, was.

So we made love at dawn.

Then said hello to my ex-love.

I fought men & I hit women.

One of them was her.

I knew one day I'd lose interest.

How days went was a blur.

Hence I hitched my mistress.

Hence we had a child.

But it was all for naught.

As she failed to launch it out.

So what my mouth is foul.

So what a fan shot me.

So I wasn't the best husband.

Can't you just let it be?

The Darker Days

2011-12-08T01:20:00.001+08:00

There once was a time, my heart felt light.
When the world comes down, I went with a fight.
All the pouring rain couldn't stop me then.
Now the darker days have settled in.

The years went by when I held a smile.
All was fine til the carpet left the aisle.
Betrayal, ignorance & all evil things.
That's when the darker days settled in.

The time have come & I ran out of excuses.
I asked the Lord & the Lord refuses.
Perhaps I see the light, perhaps I haven't.
It all feels like those darker days.

Camaraderie & family, from me have ran.
No longer am I a treasured friend.
In a night, it came down hard upon me.
I'm swept alone in my darker days.

Imaginary Friend

2011-11-11T20:27:00.001+08:00

Tall and man enough
Glistens to light it up
Loves the unlovable me

Here almost anytime
Sweet little friend of mine
Finds my missing piece

Where are you now
The angels are about to ascend
Gotta fix this somehow
You know I'm counting on my imaginary friend

Dry waterfalls at night
Try hard to make things right
Warm up my coldest dreams

Takes every birthday wish
Runs to the wicked witch
Colour me special by all means

Been up all night
Figuring out your "Where" and "When"
Suddenly out of sight
When I need to count on my imaginary friend

But I'm all grown up now
My life is mine to sort out
It's about time for farewell
It's about time I face this myself

Fluffs up stormy days
Real enough to embrace
I will miss my imaginary ways

Years got me old
The world is waiting for me to stand
Time's taken a toll
Can't keep counting on my imaginary friend

Shelly

2011-11-09T19:17:00.001+08:00

It's smells like bacon when you think too hard.
You act retarded though you're really smart.
The overlord to the alien bots.
The puny toy to the beefy jocks.

Can't survive a jumping jack.
No one loves your constant nag.
World of Warcraft level 85,
Who wants to win a Nobel prize.

You're the Spock of 2011.
You're the hell in everyone's heaven.
You are the son of a Jewish mom.
I like watching you go & come.

You're as old as Donkey Kong.
Never fail to have fun wrong.
You're the Flash, the schmuck, the "Lol".
You're my favourite one of all.

3 Bands

2011-09-02T23:02:00.001+08:00

1. Vampire Weekend

2. The Zutons

3. Miniature Tigers

Those Days (I Remember)

2011-09-02T18:16:00.000+08:00

Remember the time we sat on swings.
Remember the time of sand.
Remember the time of playful things.
Remember the time we spent.

Oh do I miss those childish days.
Oh do I wish they're here.
But I remember why I went away.
Bad memories must disappear.

Remember those days we ate ice pops.
Remember those endless games.
Remember those days of scary drops.
Remember those funny names.

G

2011-08-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

Why am I missing you.
Thought I'd lost my interest.
But I'm back on the wagon.
It's driving me nuts.

I'm starting to crave for you.
So bored, without you's worse.
Crazy like a dungeon dragon.
Need you right now so much.

Tug Of Hearts

2011-08-18T22:52:00.000+08:00

I want to turn on the taps of my cornea.
And sleep for a thousand years.
Pray that the clouds will cry with me.
And drown out all my fears.

This rambling of my naive mind,
Is a burden much too hefty.
A night for naught or a deceptive sign,
Can morph into something deathly.

It's like an imposed tug of war,
The way he pulled my strings.
Truly, I can endure no more.
His final words left stings.

I want to take the next train home.
Back to bubblegum beginnings.
Where roses are still red,
And offered in the heart of everything.

Feel

2011-08-16T14:35:00.004+08:00

I have eyes that see.
I have ears that hear.
I have a heart that's pounding.
And a soul that fears.

I have lips that speak.
Though my words are few.
I have thoughts aflowing.
I am human, I feel.

Terror

2011-08-15T23:01:00.000+08:00

I should've included :

"Her sinister smile turned into a downright malefic glare."

And then some.

Darn.

Wishful

2011-08-15T19:33:00.001+08:00

Typographie Vintage Book

If I could any book, I'd get this.

2011-08-04T19:58:00.000+08:00

If you can't respect me or my opinions, I swear I will just walk away.
You preach about equality but that's not what everyone else sees.

Ghastly Confusion

2011-08-03T22:13:00.002+08:00

Another day,
And you came & went just like that.
Look the other way,
I'll be waiting to smile right back.
Whatever it takes,
To penetrate right through your head.
So I won't break,
And think of you while I'm still on my bed.

A slight shave,
And I'll be falling head over heels.
An emotional wave,
If you give me something real.
But I can't wait,
It's delusion all the things that I feel.
The price I paid,
Wasn't worth that shit of a deal.

I should've known,
My craziness will get the better of me.
You should've shown,
No interest to whatever I'd be.
I'm all alone,
Don't interject just for sympathy.
And truth be told,
I just want to be loved truthfully.

It's frustration,
It's the kind of cycle I avoid.
It's complication,
Why do you come only when I'm destroyed.
There's no more patience,
Every single second I implore,
For your attention.
It's the only thing that's keeping my joy.

You tear me down,
Like a bulldozer on a roof.
You come around,
And relight that fire I almost defused.
Just like a clown,
You fool my emotions, once here then it's "poof".
Tied-up & bound,
Seems like there's no way out of this ruse.
But you're my muse.

2011-07-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

Can I have a pair of congas?

My Motivation

2011-07-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

DTX520!!!

THE BEST ELECTRONIC DRUM KIT I CAN AFFORD BY THE END OF THE YEAR, MAYBE.

在想着你

2011-06-18T18:41:00.000+08:00

Even though you are completely faceless.

Heartless

2011-06-12T00:33:00.000+08:00

YOU are not my mother.
YOU can't rule over me.
I can never depend on YOU.
Cause YOU are a joke,
YOU are nothing but nonsense.

F*** it.

2011-05-28T22:35:00.002+08:00

Who keeps a bloody dog in a tiny cage when they can't bloody well afford it. Why buy the dog just so you can pretend to love it and cherish it? It'll just stay unhappy and eat their shit and go through an operation and SUFFER.

"You can't see yourself as clearly as others see you." That's a lie.

My own sister has lived with me for 15 years 10 months and 22 days. And yet a simple thing such as knowing what your sibling loves does not cross her mind.

A lot of people are stubborn and brainless. Some mothers do not know when to leave me alone when I tell them to and when to step in. Some sisters don't bother to show care for their siblings when their sibling had. Some fathers just have to leave you because he has no choice. Some dogs don't care if you've been good to them because they'll go when their "other" master tells them to.

So I ask myself why do I even bother to try. Why should I be the one to "do something about it" when nothing is changed?

Everybody dies. Parents, siblings, relatives. Friends will come and go. Some leave in the midst of it all without warning. Some just cause you pain and resentment. Why should I go with the motion?

F*** it.

Trying To Study

2011-05-17T20:32:00.001+08:00

Back to my study table,
After a not-so-long rest.
Sitting there I wonder if I am able,
To focus on my up-coming test.

Right there lays my black computer.
With icons to the internet.
Tempting me to ditch my tutor,
For the joy of the wonderful web.

I try to shift my eyes to my books.
In doing so, I break a sweat.
Studying is as hard as it looks.
So I leave to eat some bread.

Filled to my tummy, I feel much better.
And approach my table, less hungry.
I start to read the subject matter,
Which relates from country to country.

Just as I thought I was set,
I realise I needed to tinkle.
I know if I delay I will regret,
So I run out in an eye's twinkle.

Once again, trotting back to my place.
Thinking how I finally am ready.
Alas the food had me wanting a taste,
Of some water, stirred to eddy.

This makes me lose all hope.
I can't concentrate on work.
Away from books, I frown and mope.
With them, I'll only go berserk.

And so I ring on my best friend,
Hoping she will motivate me.
But my dilemma failed to end.
We just started a chatting spree.

:(

Jolly Roger

2011-05-15T22:15:00.000+08:00

Old Jolly Roger,
What makes bones quiver.
Supreme over rivers,
Over oceans and seas.

Old fleshless skull,
Who makes the dauntless dull.
Who shapes societies vile.
For the waters' breeze.

Jolly sings the crew.
With none of mountain dew.
Though survivors are few.
Old Roger never leaves.

Unretiring and brave,
Witty nonsensical rave,
Let every man in caves,
Be fearful when he's raised.

Fly Like The Helium Balloon.

2011-05-14T09:42:00.002+08:00

Exploration & Disgust

2011-05-12T16:30:00.000+08:00

Word Of The Day:

Pepperoni

It reminds me of cheese, and the good kind.
I love pepperoni pizza with the thin crust.
I like that it has the word "Roni" in it.
It's a really special and delicious name, isn't it? Roni.
However, it is incredibly fattening - with over 400 calories packed in 100 grams.

Site Of The Day:

Telegramme

It is a studio featuring original prints and illustration.
Unfortunately, when I visited them, they weren't ready for me.
Renovations and renewals.
I think their representative or administrative dude is Bobby.
Even the names are so adorable.

Book Of The Day:

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

This is an American novel by the dude Chbosky.
Basically, It highlights the life of a teenage outcast,
going through various issues, both in the dark and the
high side, that is the intimate portions of life.
And for that reason, I'm not so sure if I really want to
read it. I'm a sensitive person, but am not resistant to
duende stories. So if you ever stumble upon this book,
I would be ever so grateful for you to pick it up for me.

Mood Of The Day:

Sick To My Stomach

I think it's related to my nose.
The late dawn rain smelt so ghastly, for the first time.
And the stench of rainwater on me, coupled with possible sweat, just made me want to clip my nostrils together so I wouldn't smell a thing.
Another two are the smell of my body wash on my skin and the book pages. Oddly, they stink today.
Lastly, my domestic helper spilt blue paint all over the floor. And it wasn't the new paint. It was the old, toxic-smelling kind.
Now I feel just dizzy, so I directed my fan, on full speed, towards the area tainted with expired dye.

Geez. Hope you're having a much more fragrant day than I.
Signing off.

Walk Away

2011-05-09T18:04:00.000+08:00

How does it feel like to see my frown.
In the corner so alone in the crowd.
When nobody takes a second glance.
When you know I can't stand up then.

How is it that you could walk away.
Why is it that you can't look in my face.
Left me hanging with nothing more to say.
Like you want nothing more with me anyway.

Don't you know what I've done for you.
Can't you remember what I had to do.
When you were just a messed up wreck.
And now on me you turn your back.

Promises, you never kept.
Still I was there when you wept.
Even though you're never true.
I had to love you.

Pushed me aside for your friends.
Naively, I thought it would end.
Could've just found someone new.
But I had to love you.

Everyone keeps telling me to leave.
They say that you're not good enough for me.
But love has made me stupidly blind.
Not to see who you're hiding behind.

Now it's too late to stop the hurting.
The image that I have with you is blurring.
Time is up and I can't keep waiting.
Cause sorry is a word you'd never be saying.

And I know who you used to be.
But that guy won't come any closer to me.
Cause he's gone and you're in his place.
Being with you is such a waste.

Promises, you never kept.
Still I was there when you wept.
Even though you're never true.
I had to love you.

Pushed me aside for your friends.
Naively, I thought it would end.
Could've just found someone new.
But I had to love you.

Time

2011-05-09T00:32:00.000+08:00

It was just another love story.

And if you come any closer, I'm not lettin you go.

It was so deep. It was so real. It was what I am waiting for. You are beautiful. I could see myself in five years, feeling everything, or not. But I see it everyday, everywhere. It kills me, and yet it fills me with joy. I can't decide.

I'm so impatient and I'm so ridiculous. I ask myself if I'm alone. No, I'm not. Yes, I really am. Well, it's just me and my wall. It's really cozy. But that's it.

What is on my mind? What is on your mind? Is my future ending up like how I'd like it to end up? Life is about choices, but I can't choose for that to begin or end. It's how it is. There are exceptions, rare cases.

Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting so much precious time and energy. Laugh, for the comedy is over. Why am I not laughing then? Is it because it's kind of tragic?

Book One

2011-05-06T20:47:00.003+08:00

An Original Tale by Yours Truly

The Book Of Bimbos

Once upon a time, there was a girl. Her name was Gallie. She loved to write her name with a cute little heart, replacing the dot that she thought was much too dull for her. She was a cutie pie with a horrible taste on shoes. Ghastly!

Gallie went to a public school. It was Prudence High School. But before she went there, she attended Ding Dong High School in Ding Dong Street. Honestly, I'd be frowning if I had to change schools. But Gallie wasn't. She's smiling!

Before the move and the change of schools, Gallie had a great life in Ding Dong High School! She had great friends, Sellie and Nellie who were bimbos, great family, with a mom and a dad, and great results! She scored a 7/100 for English, 1/100 for Math, 0 for Science and a 8/100 for Phonics! Yup, great life right!

Gallie was the Bimbo of the century! But, she didn't really want to be. Her bimbo friends forced her to join the club. And so, she naively, stupidly, foolishly, stubbornly, idiotically, willingly and bimbotically said yes. Together, they created the Bimbotic rules.

1) Always be stupid.
2) Beauty is always the first priority.
3) You must fix your hair every 5 minutes.
8) You must say "OMG" to everything but as if in a good mood.
5) Shopping must be done daily. Screw homework!
19) Never sweat.
12) Wear really high heels 24/8
7) Be adorable and stupid.
50) Be stupid and adorable.

Gallie realised what a horrible Bimbo she was. And so she wanted to break free. So, she started to break dance but it only made her dress tear. She started to break stuff but it only broke her cuticles. She started to break up but she had no one to break up with. Then she tried to break eggs but it only gave her parents temporary joy, thinking their sole daughter can finally cook. She started to break wind but it only made her smell. She started to break out but it only made her ugly!

Soon, she ran out of ideas. Upset, she started to break down. Drip drop went Gallie's tears, forming the "Dead Sea 2.0". Seeing how sad Gallie was, her parents decided to send her away. And that was how she got to Prudence High School!

"PHS". That was short for Prudence High School, except the H was striked, replaced by an M. Gallie wondered who had done such a hilarious thing. "PMS". With her parents, Gallie greeted the principal who seemed to be really bored. So eventually, Gallie got enrolled in PM.. oh, I meant, PHS!

In PHS, Gallie met many people. Many weird people. There were tonnes of weirdos, but no bimbos! Gallie didn't like it there. She loved it! Her glum face turned into wide smiles of satisfaction. Gallie met cowboys, cowgirls, mad scientists, goths, gays, straights, nerdy peoples and vampires who bore an uncanny resemblance with the "Cullen Clan". However, only one group caught her eyes. And they were the Pirates!

Arr! From that moment, Gallie became hooked! Cue the fun limewire song! "Yar har, feeleedidi! Being a pirate is alright to me! Do what you want cause a pirate is free! You are a pirate!" Gallie finally broke free from her bimbotic past and transformed into a pirate! And she was happy with her new look, though she still had a horrible sense of shoe style. Ghastly!

The End.

Twilight Resident

2011-05-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

I hear him, I hear his harmony.
I feel it, I feel his words softly.
I can't see him, his face or body.
But I hear him, his voice gliding.

And I say, "I think I love him."
And he sings, "Save yourself"
So close, I'm falling off the brim.
So far, to think there's no one else.

Rhythm came, the rhythm went.
Stayed he did, stayed longer than.
All humanitarian can understand.
I saw him, in the body of a man.

A Friend

2011-05-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

Pulled you up.
Lifted you from the gloomy trenches,
The losing warm benches,
To your feet.

Made you laugh.
Made you cast out all your sorrows,
And have hope on your tomorrows,
While you weep.

You know I'm here til the very end,
More than any helping hand.
I'm here for you,
And you know that's true.

And I can't stop being a friend,
Through all the bumps and bends.
But tell me what to do,
Cause I just can't stop lovin you.

Let myself down.
When I let my feelings go,
Do the things I'm not supposed,
While you're here.

Tried I have,
But I keep on coming round,
Though it hurts, I don't make a sound,
Cause you're near.

You know I'm here til the very end,
More than any helping hand.
I'm here for you,
And you know that's true.

And I can't stop being a friend,
Through all the bumps and bends.
But tell me what to do,
Cause I just can't stop lovin you.

I shouldn't interfere,
When I know how it ends.
You'd leave with happy tears,
And I'd still be a friend.

In your head, I'm nothing more.
But why do I still care.
I resist how my soul pleads.
And end up in a mess.

50 Things

2011-05-01T10:24:00.000+08:00

1. Oreo Mcflurry

2. Anti-coffee or tea

3. Hi-5

4. Christina Aguilera

5. Youtube

6. Doodle City

7. Late "Pass"

8. Flip phones

9. Helmet Head

10. When I Turned Ten

11. Nancy Drew

12. Reading whilst walking

13. Writing whilst walking

14. Pro Rummager

15. The Library!

16. Swings

17. 1000+ Paper stars

18. Truancy

19. Laugh

20. Twelve Diaries in six years

21. Jesus

22. LoveLoveLoveLoveLove

23. Teletubby nightmares

24. Class Clowns are my best friends

25. The Sims

26. Pre-prom fiasco

27. Spelling tests

28. Lists

29. 55

30. Microsoft Word

31. Psychic

32. Panda Eyes

33. Dancing eyebrows

34. Guitar Guy was the reason i started strumming

35. Chinese Orchestra

36. NEL

37. SLAYS

38. Almost Cannibal

39. White nails

40. Heaven

41. Ogive back

42. Textrovert

43. The Little Mermaid

44. Cereal for Breakfast

45. 6 Months of takeout food

46. The police came to my crib

47. I want to start an interactive website

48. Memory of a fish

49. Notebooks & graffiti

50. Cricket

Karma

2011-04-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

Creeping slowly,
Door to door.
Repay revenge,
Are on your toes.

You can't see,
Your eyes are blind.
But in your head,
It shows its signs.

Coming, coming.
Closer to you.
Coming, coming.
Watch as you do.

Calling, calling.
Catching the good.
Karma, Karma.
It's on to you.

It's forever,
Like diamond rust.
Threat or luck,
The time is just.

Flesh will flee,
But bones delight.
Humaniers,
We can't decide.

Coming, coming.
Closer to you.
Coming, coming.
Watch as you do.

Calling, calling.
Catching the good.
Karma, Karma.
It's on to you.

You'll Know It When It Is.

2011-04-21T22:43:00.000+08:00

- Deep voice
- Fluent English speaking
- Not stick thin
- A little tan
- Quite muscular
- Old fashion in love
- Lipring
- Has a fantabulous sense of humour
- Cute lips
- Kinda thick brows
- Does not have sleeveless tees as a wardrobe staple
- Not angsty
- Artistic
- Considerate
- Respectful
- Mature to a large percentage
- Groundbreaking smile
- Sparkling pearly whites
- No awkward facial hair
- Straight, rather than curly hair
- Brave
- Musically inclined
- Romantic

Holland.

2011-04-10T15:55:00.000+08:00

I'll never forget what you said to them.
Trying to make me listen.
I remember what I heard that night.
How it made me glisten.

Everytime I try to catch your eye.
I watch in secret longing.
Everytime I come closer.
They crush my sense of belonging.

One look from you and I know.
Exactly what you want to say.
Your eyes serenate the sky.
And effortlessly set me ablaze.

It's a pleasure hard to find.
Don't know why I let it go.
Worlds apart, two different strangers.
Silently I retreat back home.

My Hans

2011-04-09T21:36:00.002+08:00

My Hans,
I hold your head in my arms.
I feel your warmth,
Your every breath on my skin.

My Hans,
In the dark you make me dance.
You took my words,
And left me in a spin.

My Hans,
My heart's criminal.
Your touch,
Your lips subliminal.

My Hans,
For your warm blood I hunt.
But lying under your neck,
I fall prey to you.

My Hans,
You slipped in to my heart.
And I didn't stop you,
I didn't stop you.

My Hans,
My heart's criminal.
My Hans,
My love's sentinel.

FOOL YOU

2011-04-02T10:48:00.000+08:00

CHEM IS NOT MY BEST SUBJECT.
YET SELFISH FOOLS OF MY TORN CLASS CHOSE TO PLAY A PRANK.
TO LIE.
TO LIE TO EVERYONE ELSE THAT THERE WASN'T ANY LESSONS.
MY SATURDAYS ARE PACKED.
YOU MAY SAY THAT I AM NAIVE.
BUT MAYBE YOU'RE JUST A FANTASTIC LIAR.
BEWARE, SOCIETY WILL DESTROY YOU BECAUSE WHAT COMES AROUND, GOES AROUND.
LITERALLY EVERY PART OF YOU WILL BE BURNT AND HURT AND THERE IS NO WAY FOR YOU TO GET BACK UP.
THE FIRST OF APRIL IS WHEN EVERYBODY IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED.
BUT GUESS WHAT ALL PRANKS ARE REVEALED BEFORE THE DAY REALLY ENDS.
THAT'S THE WAY TO GO.
YOU DON'T JOKE AND LEAVE IT THERE.
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS THAT IMPORTANT.
WHEN IT'S CRUCIAL TO OUR EXAMS.
AND BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T REVEAL THE TRUTH,
YOU SELFISH PEOPLE GOT TO GET INFORMATION WHILE THE REST WHO REMAINED TRUSTING TO YOUR WORDS MISSED IT ALL.
YOU DID THIS SO YOU CAN BENEFIT,
YOU DID THIS SO WE WON'T.
YOU ARE SELF-CENTERED, EVIL-MINDED, AND BE SURE TO SAY HI TO THE DEVIL BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE HEADED.
THANKS FOR DITCHING YOUR DIGNITY.
I'M SURE THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING.
BUT YOU MADE IT THAT WAY.
YOU CHOSE YOUR PATH, YOUR WORDS, YOUR SCHEMES.
YEAH, I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN YOUR FRIEND.
YOU ARE, AS SHE SAY, WITH THE CORRUPT OFFICERS OF YOUR SELF-GLORIFYING PARTY. I PLAY NO PART IN YOUR SOCIETY.
JUST BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE WINNING, DOESN'T REALLY MEAN THAT YOU ARE.
EVIL-DOERS SUFFER AND DON'T DIE.
GOOD DEED-DOERS DIE BUT DIE WINNING THE ETERNAL PACKAGE.
I AM SO NOT GOING TO KEEP HATING.
I AM NOT ONE TO SCHEME AGAINST PEOPLE YOU THINK I CALL MY FOES.
BUT NO, THEY ARE EQUALS. NO, I WON'T HATE THEM OR KILL THEM.
I'LL JUST LET YOU KILL ME.
AND SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. I HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY IT. :)

Notepad

2011-03-27T18:13:00.001+08:00

Sparks fly
When I'm penning thoughts.
On my notepad
From a stack within a box.

Yellow and lined
Ink as black as can be.
Hey wait a sec
Did I just describe a bee?

Sometimes
It's lists, tips or notes.
Otherwise
The usual doodles and quotes.

Easy ripping
Because of the paper lines.
The right size
Not the normal A4 kinds.

Occasionally
I just might write your name.
And draw hearts
Like I got no shame.

Never dull
With my yellow legal stack.
Blank parchment
It's always in my bag.

More Than A Lifetime Worth Of Thanks.

2011-03-22T00:16:00.006+08:00

In my lifetime,

I have almost fallen in love, had someone almost feel the same way, caught the eye of a stranger and felt the touch of many "his-hands".

I have fulfilled my dream of being on stage, rocking out with a band. And now I want more.

I have met and treasured a plethora of people with different personalities and quirks. I have met guys, and muscularly-built, who have readily offered their help to me.

I have earned money, made and kept valuable friends. I have experienced the greatest kind of love human beings aren't capable of expressing.

I have underwent a gazillion different types of living conditions. I have turned from cursing outside my house door psychotically to putting down my pride and learning the better way of life.

I have believed in myself and not ceased doing so. I have been a failure to be a success. I have become braver with every experience. I have someone who saw me cry, encouraged me and displayed such beautiful friendship.

I have felt like the happiest girl in the world and the loneliest one. I have been a murderer and a child.

I am crazy, shy, emotional, self-admiring, judgemental, optimistic, pessimistic, lazy, hardworking, eccentric and [insert adjective of your choice].

Slain By The Slayer

2011-03-20T21:12:00.000+08:00

I am appalled.
If I don't submerged myself into fantasy,
I will kill, spew filthy things,
and kill.

Literally, I can cut you into 5 million butter breads.

They don't care about my wellbeing.
No one will care about anyone else but themselves.

Just because I am mutually related,
Does that mean I must suffer the same consequences?

YOU SELFISH PIGHEAD.

Life is a joke.
Love is a game.

You have no where to turn but to be swallowed by the negativity of your negative friends.
Or are they?

Because they can abandon you.

IN A FLASH! IN A SPITHOLE!

Curse you for breathing! Curse you for taking my freedom away.
This is the last measly straw!

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
WHY TRY SO HARD WHEN NO ONE ACKNOWLEDGES?

Why bother when your friends won't care because they chose not to?
I have nothing to lose. Friends are no solid sticks.
You can never trust and have faith that they won't break on you, crushing your every bone, straight to your soul.

OH I CAN FIND PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CARE.
I CAN LEAVE YOU WITH YOUR DRAMA. ALL OF YOU.

Smoking Hot

2011-03-13T23:40:00.002+08:00

Who would think of wearing that,
Who would think of wearing black,
Or even in a shade of gray.

Just walk for a metre,
And you're smoking like a heater,
On the hottest tropic day.

Drip, drip, drip,
Goes the sweat on your back.
Flowing down to the ground.

Slip, slip, slipping,
Off your cheeks to your feet.
And you ain't even working out.

Help.

2011-03-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

"now im stuck forever in the empty cold black depths of the earth, descending further and further into the deep abyss of the dark eternity. and i shall die whilst in my plummet."

That was what I wrote, into the first and a quarter of my Greed essay, when I was really at a loss for words. I was completely stuck, bearing no clue whatsoever on how to continue with my intense essay. I started intensely and have no intentions of ending it like a fairytale. It is either I force out whatever that's left of my brain juice or delete the entire one and a quarter of my existing passage.

Leviticus 19:33

2011-03-10T01:05:00.001+08:00

"When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God."

Regrettably, many miss this part.

Art & Music

2011-03-09T23:15:00.000+08:00

I have discovered how the oldies Rock n Blues are fascinatingly making me dance! Musicians such as Eddie Cochran and Chuck Berry to a bit of Elvis P. Playful music, Rock n Blues. :]

And I can't wait to study art in college. I found out about the major "Comparative History Of Ideas" in the university of Washington. Interesting. I learned, from a very reliable source, that it is in fact a fun major.

Art history.. I know exactly what I want. And I am aware of what I need. You know what? This could almost make "work" to equate to "play". :D

The Treehouse

2011-02-20T15:53:00.001+08:00

Wooden planks & the scent of fresh fruit.
No harm within the walls of mermaid-painted wood.
Jingles of the bells hung above the door.
Marks and prints of the last kid on the floor.

A single cross hammered at the highest.
Rows of light which lined the roof shone brightest.
A sign indicating that boys weren't allowed.
And an opening built for communications in-and-out.

Judging by the size, it can hold a crowd.
Though ladies enter by packs, they weren't loud.
Silent gossip or secret exchanges maybe.
Too discreet for my taste, too quiet for me.

Once or twice I've been a recipient of their invitation.
Once or twice I've shown acceptance and rejection.
A blurry image forms when I try to recall things.
On the surface it was filled with fantasy and imaginary beings.

What an odd revelation, might you say.
My opinion tells me it's the dream of my days.
Blue skies and sandy shores,
A bucketful of pleasure and a bucketful more.

Guess as I may, you still haven't got a clue.
It's a shame you missed all the pulp that's in the juice.
Today it is old and ragged and shut with lock and key.
Its secrets no longer will be passed on to this generation of greed.

Ghost

2011-02-20T14:33:00.000+08:00

I think I'm in love.
Words cannot explain.
Feels so out of the world.
And sometimes it feels like pain.

The first day I met you.
It's like ecstasy.
Will you love me do.
And not leave me be?

After days of torture,
Pretending you're not there.
I've realised this posture,
Won't get me anywhere.

Tried I have many times,
To always believe in you.
But no words that rhyme,
Can, your curse, I undo.

I know that we will cease,
Someday we both won't do.
But I hope you won't forget me.
As how I won't forget you.

Will you rest in peace,
For the memories of us.
Will you vow to never release,
And carry them across to Mars.

Honestly, I'm still in love.
I wonder if you know.
If you're still on Earth,
Please let it show.

All that we were, I never regretted.
But that I shouldn't boast.
Because it's harder than expected,
To be in love with a ghost.

Look at your picture,
Do you see the teardrops?
Do you know they're a mixture,
Of sugar and salt?

I'm happy to have met you,
Oh the joyful tears I cry.
It pains me to say adieu.
To your soul that I once liked.

How do I love a ghost.
A part of me compromise.
Another part just wants to go.
Perhaps the best is goodbye.

But I know that I've loved you.
The best thing of my life.
Promise that I will live through,
Promise that I'll survive.

If I Could Choose My Family.

2011-02-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: This does not, by any means, indicate that i don't like my own.

Gramps: Eric Clapton
Granny: Julie Andrews
Daddy: Rowan Atkinson
Mommy: Queen Latifah
Sisters: Selena Gomez, Nicki Minaj
Brothers: Perez Hilton, Eminem, Shane Dawson, Jim Parsons
Uncles: Hugh Laurie, Steven Tyler
Aunt: Ellen DeGeneres

I know, I have lots of brothers. Chyeah! One of the boys right!

Tame The Phoenix

2011-02-19T11:14:00.001+08:00

Roaring in her cage,
She's a little bit frustrated.
Little ball of rage,
A thousand years has she waited.

Point of no escape,
Her lungs cannot contain.
There's fire in her eyes,
And inside it reigns.

What does it take,
To tame the phoenix.
Shadows cry die, die, die.
Your life is at stake,
Death nearing in minutes.
Mothers cry why, why, why.

Feathers of black.
Slowly they turn golden red.
Her claws at the back.
Eyeing on who should be next.

Beneath the brilliant surface,
She's the monster of light.
No longer can miracles save.
The victim in her sight.

What does it take,
To tame the phoenix.
Souls cry die, die, die.
Your life is at stake,
Death nearing in minutes.
Mamas cry why, why, why.

Loving you is the sweetest thing to do.

2011-02-15T18:53:00.001+08:00

Despite feeling rather handicapped in certain aspects of my life lately, i feel genuinely grateful for the things that have taken official inhabitance in these horribly stained hands. Sometimes i believe i am incredibly disproportionate, silly and just downright weird. That could go either really well or really bad. But i should affirm my boldness of being unafraid of future circumstances for deciding to ignore Physics lessons & assignments. It takes a true risk-taker for these awful stunts. Amidst all the chaos that encircled my little personal bubble, i fell, not realising that i had. An epiphany later, this angst overcame me. It was sec 2 all over again except a tad more harsh, but not really if viewed at an alternative angle.

I guess this is the moment where i cry, 'HELP.'

Borderline

2011-02-10T22:27:00.002+08:00

It's not my issue.
But give me your tissue.
Don't need to dry those tears.
It'll dry themselves.
Pick up your pieces.
I have a thesis.
To start debating how
You'll own someone else.

There's no adjourning.
To photo burning.
Burners, firestarters
And wrath is all you need.
No apologizing.
Go big on upsizing.
His unhappy meal,
Yeah that's all he needs.

The borderline isn't clear,
When it comes to biting back.
Hold yourself dear and near.
Don't lose it to the other lad.

It's not my right.
And it's not my fight.
But the point is,
That I loathe him too.
When he ditched you fast,
Like to all the rest,
He must regret.
Be forced to feel uncool.

The borderline never has been clear,
Towards d-bags and baggettes like these.
Remember to just slowly cease the fear.
Float like butterflies and sting like bees.

<3

Aerosmith

2011-02-07T22:14:00.000+08:00

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing. Watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you're far away and dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender. I could stay lost in this moment forever, where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure. Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating. And I'm wondering what you're dreaming, wondering if it's me you're seeing. Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together. I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever. I don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep. Cause I'd miss you and I don't wanna miss a thing. Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do cause I'd still miss you and I don't wanna miss a thing.

Sad Sad Situation

2011-02-06T01:13:00.000+08:00

Aaron Johnson, one of the hottest British men I know who is currently romantically involved with a middle-aged woman, Sam Taylor-Wood, had brought his first child with her into the world last year, on the 7th of July. Out of all dates, it had to be one day after my birthday. And guess what, he named her Wylda Rae Johnson. RAE. If you didn't know already, Rae was one of my many nicknames.

He is such a fine young tiger. How and why did he choose to fall in love with a woman that looks older than her age, and I'm not exaggerating. He could be living his life as a young dude, enjoying all the great things a 22-year-old should be. Why?! How does it make sense that love made things that way? I mean, she is more than half his age, for crying out loud! T_T Oh Jay.....

The Bookclub

2011-02-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

I am more than happy to announce that I have just completed Agatha Christie's Thirteen Problems. It was fantastic read. Thirteen mind-boggling mysteries that have panned out to be carried with truths that I couldn't have imagined possible. I certainly advocate her books. Much harsher and reality-driven than Nancy Drew. It focused on a more mature group of readers, as compared to the latter.

About a month ago, I had purchased a book entitled, "Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber" which was on sale at a popular bookstore. I was attracted to its bright but simple soft-back cover. But little did I know, I had bought a book which had a movie created based on its story, which I had watched previously. Upon finishing my mystery novel, I picked that book up and decided to begin reading it. By the fourth page, I had discovered that its contents were filled with disgraceful ethics of a prima donna. I refused to feed my mind with such awful sentences and phrases that would for sure completely corrupt my still intact but slightly bruised soul. So, I threw those horrid compiled pages to the ground, vowing to never pick them up again.

Ladies and gentlewomen, please do not feel too curious enough to sneak a peek at its pages. Direct your attention, rather at "The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4". I am certain it will entertain you greatly.

Killed Magic

2011-02-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

A mermaid is just a myth.
That story is but a dream.
Magic exists in fantasies.
Reality's as cold as it seems.

No half human, half marine.
These are man-made creations.
Built in plastic and clay.
It's a harsh revelation.

Children are bound to discover.
They will either hold on or cry.
Imagination turns to wishful thinking.
Soon these fragile dreams will die.

The sky won't be falling.
Our wishing stars won't work.
The mythical creatures we thought exists.
Will be fading into the murk.

The sun will turn grey.
The seas will freeze still.
The rain cease to sparkle.
All because magic was killed.

Star

2011-01-31T23:49:00.001+08:00

Countdown til the end of the day.
Put your dreams back in and fly away.
Get lost in the night, get lost in the day.
Soak deep deep down in the silky rain.

You better remember your big day.
You'll be caught in the moment, got nothing to say.
So drink up drink up that lemonade.
The sky's calling down for your big parade.

The powers are flowing in your veins.
The magic is glowing in your face.
The heaven is belling right here today.
Get ready for take off, for this I pray.

Everything, everyone's looking gay.
My stairwell's shining brighter than sunrays.
I'm a queen when it ends, I'mma get my way.
And it's surmounting joy that don't fade away.

My first, my last, my beautiful love.
The closest it can get to heaven on Earth.
The kisses we'll sing will touch above.
And that's the dream I'll live, when time reach us.

335 Days To USE

2011-01-30T21:40:00.001+08:00

Weehoo!! Out of my country honeybee! I'm gonna use new toilets, go to new stores, buy new things and meet new people! *0*

Cross The Line

2011-01-30T19:55:00.000+08:00

Those familiar eyes have the catch phrase of the season.
You're smashing my pride with the weakest of decisions.
You give and take away.
Don't give me the time of day.
What on earth did you just say.

Sick of you acting cool.
Don't care anymore about you.
I'm done being the fool.

You're not worthy of time.
Especially when it's mine.
Cause I know you'll just cross the line.

Damn you'll just cross my line.
Time after time.
When everything looks just fine.
You'll come crossing the line.

Muscle mass won't get you anywhere.
Fake smile at me but I just don't care.
Wave your hands up in the air.
Attention-seeker, to the left, to the left.

Lovely War

2011-01-10T20:12:00.002+08:00

It wasn't a very long time since I first met you.
A little more than 1 year is all it has been.
A proper gentleman that just landed in my school.
You were good to me, and that's where it begins.

It all clicked when you came to me that day.
Innocently smiling at what was on my mind.
Then you left taking my breath along the way.
Unknowingly, deeming reality to me blind.

You're smart in things I'm not like Mandarin.
I could see it when you told me your scores.
You returned my compliment with your toothy grin.
And there, I just lost in your lovely war.

It is easy to see, you treat me well.
But it's not like I'm the only gal.
I try hard to keep a straight face.
Though my eyes follow you in a hopeless chase.

If I in my wildest dreams had the power,
I would make you the star of the hour.
Then I'll have a good excuse.
In sync, comparison has no use.

Banana

2011-01-03T20:11:00.001+08:00

I'm a banana in a charcoal tree.
Except I am shorter than me.
And not exactly as healthy as me.
But that's what comes from a charcoal tree.

I am sunny just like my hue.
Though sometimes i get really blue.
I am either Mary or Sue.
Don't worry, i don't get you too.

Unlike most fruits that fancy sun.
I prefer precipitation.
Mostly cause it calms a ton.
I'm just a strange rain-over-sun.

My job is easy, lax and sweet.
Though hanging down gives me cold feet.
The only real problem is when they eat.
I'm ripped apart with my coat on the street.

High School Survival Kit: School Outfit

2010-12-29T08:00:00.000+08:00

1. Skirts

Alter them to a proper length for you that does not break the school rule of them being way too short.

2. Uniform shirts

Because they are white, use an anti-perspirant to stay decent for the entire day. Secret is a very popular brand but I use Nivea double effect.

3. Shorts ( PE or personal )

It is recommended to wear flimsy and comfortable shorts under your skirt to allow certain activity whilst in your skirt. FBTs are great and suitable materials to wear.

4. Shoes

I like my shoes to be laced and tucked into its sides. I get my school sneakers at the World Of Sports. I believe you are allowed to beautify your sneakers to an extent that it still looks quite neat and proper. Manually colouring parts of it and doodling a little will give your pair of standard-issue shoes a touch of your personality.

5. White socks ( ankle socks that still are visible )

6. Hairstyle

A bunned up style is great in the afternoon when you'll be more drowsy in class or when it's too warm to focus. Be sure to also clip up your fringe or better yet, use a hairband. On PE days, wear a ponytail to keep it practical. On days where classes tend to be aggressively dull, pamper yourself with a playful braid, preferably a french braid.

7. Glasses ( if applicable )

If your eye degree is minor, glasses can be worn whenever you feel most appropriate. They can be accessories, depending on whether you look nice in them. Find a frame for your spectacles that suits you best. This way, you can look good and see well at the same time. Switch it up with contacts once in a while, but only if you can afford and feel comfortable in them.

8. Earrings ( if any )

Try small diamonds or silver ear studs with different simple shapes like hearts or stars etc. To avoid being caught with earrings too extravagant, wear smaller studs that can still be chic. Do not go completely plain for long periods of time because that would be too uninteresting.

* All in all, don't worry about school uniforms. They won't be a part of your closet for long. :)

High School Survival Kit: School Supplies

2010-12-28T00:47:00.002+08:00

1. Notebooks

It's best to take A4-sized ones. Ringed notebooks are easier for notetaking because of their ability to fold, taking up less space on your desk. Those with a smooth paper surfaces works best for easy writing.

2. Staedtler Wopex Pencils

These are the latest and they last longer so you don't have to sharpen them all the time. They have a nice velvet touch as well, very comfortable on the hands.

3. Ballpoint pens ( for quick and easy writing, depending on self )

4. General file

I like to keep a separate file for every school subject just to keep things organised. I use Bindermax L-shaped folders.

5. Agenda Planning Diary

6. School Bag ( Best to carry a backpack )

If a tote is preferred, choose one that has thick straps so the pressure of it will be reduced. Also, having a support on the underside of your bag will keep all the dirt on the floor away from your bag. Make sure it's big.

7. Cosmetic Kit

* Tissue packet * Mini non-spray deodorant
* Feminine products * Bandaids * Extra accessories

8. Poche ( get one that isn't flimsy )

* Calculator * Gum * Personal items * Knick knacks

9. Super Sticky Post-its

10. Lunch Bag

Handy Dandy lunch bags will save you time and money for lunch. You can make healthier food choices by packing in energy boosting bars like Nature Valley, fruits and nuts.

11. A book ( kills time and increases knowledge )

* To make things easier for you to manage in school, get a locker.

High School Survival Kit: Oral Care

2010-12-27T23:38:00.001+08:00

1. Ultra Brite toothpaste

Best for teeth whitening. Other toothpaste brands work as well but the difference isn't much. It's about personal preference for the taste, whether minty or not.

2. A toothbrush ( replace it once the bristles are bending )

Any good manual brush will do. Try a new kind everytime you need a replacement to experiment.

3. Vanilla Mint Listerine mouthwash

These are less explosive and a little more gentle in your mouth.

4. Rite Aid Whitening Kit

5. Oral-B packet floss sticks

*For nice breathe, brush your tongue and gargle thoroughly.

Just Me And Myself This Christmas.

2010-12-27T11:02:00.000+08:00

Give me the chance to correct myself.
Freeze time for a moment, think it through well.
Sometimes I lose it, forgotten where I put it.
But all the while, I know that you knew where.

Let me sink into another life.
It may be still hard to make all right.
At least when I lose it, I'll have somewhere to replace it.
You'll see me lift my curtain hair.

An idle mind is a devil's workshop.
You've got that right.
I gave all my might to make it stop,
But you saw my strife.

The world's rusty jewels soon come to mind.
I couldn't but feed on their beauty.
This contemplation is not a good sign.
Dear God please pluck it out of me.

Another day will soon come to pass.
Another day another hour wasted.
I am deeply aware that treasures rust.
It's partly not my choice to be addicted.

I've turned from darkness to light.
Though days have seen me better in grey.
You've always been there in my plights.
In a way, you really do make me gay.

All Your Promises Won't Let Go Of Me.

2010-12-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

Back door, seeing faces.
Holding hands, going places.
I wanna be like them.

Love songs, love notes.
I think it's time for my go.
I might be ready ready.

For a boy who can love,
who can dedicate.
A relationship that's real
And not in my head.
I am looking for someone
who looks after me.
After all these years of waiting,
I think I'm ready.

Big smiles, face to face.
Moving closer everyday.
I wanna be like that.

Chasing you, chasing me.
Roses, poems, to your knees.
I might be ready ready.

For a boy who can love,
who can dedicate.
A relationship that's real
And not in my head.
I'm looking for someone
who looks after me.
After all these years of waiting,
I think I'm ready.

Slow dance, dim lights.
Your lips to mine on a beautiful night.
Guess I am ready.
Yes I am ready for you.

I Love You, Dad.

2010-12-15T03:16:00.000+08:00

So many things to say,
Too much to write down properly.
They're clogged up in my brain.
Entangled in between.

I wish I had you here,
Sitting in your bedroom chair.
That way you could be near,
When I have a thought to share.

Sometimes I shed a tear,
Because I miss your presence.
Sometimes I start to fear,
When I lose my patience.

Cause now I write emails,
That might as well be snails.
It's harder to communicate,
All I want, from head to tail.

Now you've got another house.
With another family.
Living almost a thousand miles,
Away from where you're s'pose to be.

All I can do is pray for you.
Knowing God will see this through.
That someday we will live together.
In a special place that I call heaven.

There's endless things to talk about,
Endless things to say.
It's easier if you're around.
I wish there was a way.

Like honey to the bee.
You'll be a part of me.
In everything you do,
Wherever you may be,
Know that I will always love you.

Panic In The Morning!

2010-12-13T17:18:00.001+08:00

Wishes do come true.
But not really if it's wished vaguely.
I wished for a boyfriend but the wrong one came.
Dear God, why me?

I'm a sinner, not a saint.
Don't know why you think I'm special.
I hate to break the game.
Specially when it's real.

Don't be too sweet, don't even think.
Before you realise I'm not the one.
It's way too much mush for me right now.
I don't want to say that I'm done.

You're a great brother to me.
Kinda messed up with the confession.
Got me all shook up now.
Let's skip the affection and obsession.

I'm so sorry I should've rejected.
Trying to be truthful about everything.
And now you think we'd have a chance.
So you just keep on chasing and waiting.

I don't wanna be harsh.
I don't wanna be hard on you.
No I didn't just say yes.
I really didn't do that to you.

Can't believe I gave false hope.
Am I being too negative and narrow-minded?
Maybe this could really work.
But my wish had appeared to be better.

Than what I am facing right now.
Am I taking this for granted?
I can't do anything online cause you're here.
And I'm distracted.

Let's not get too carried away.
Only 55 says those things to me.
Please don't start again silly boy.
It's hard to accept how you're cheesy.

You're just not my type.
More like a teddy bear that talks.
How do I break this to you.
So that you won't be in constant shock.

Please help me oh God.
There's too much moths in me.
Please wake him up.
From the lovely dream he's in.

To face reality.
So give him another girl.
That is prettier.
Than me.

A Great Miracle

2010-12-13T00:38:00.000+08:00

My cousin studies in the UK. And she was there because she had earned herself a free education for that year. Unfortunately she failed and had to repeat whatever she had learnt. This time, she had to pay for the school fees which was about 6000 pounds. My aunt had no idea how to cough up that large sum of money so she turned to God. She cried out to Him and after fervent prayers, a miracle occurred. She met a doctor who had a feeling he had to help someone out and he knew it had to be her. So after hearing her out, he decided to willingly give 10,000 pounds to my aunt, a complete stranger without any mention of returning the money. He even told her to come back to him if she had any more problems. This amazing occurrence allowed my cousin to study again. Isn't God so wonderful? This is a true story!

Close This Fragile Heart Of Mine.

2010-12-10T08:05:00.000+08:00

I find myself falling into the trap of sin and the harsh reality of jealousy. I cannot love anyone that I know has no interest for me. If I let myself go entirely, any outward gestures I had not anticipated, can easily hurt me and turn my heart away from righteousness. If only he knew that he was toying with my feelings, though not consciously. If only I could stop making every detail a big deal. If only I could stop caring if it had made a difference, just like everything else. In the end, these are not to make us happy, but to make us stronger, not weaker and more vunerable to whoever.

The Blue Moon Cake.

2010-12-06T19:43:00.000+08:00

Today was quite eventful, yet not really. I headed to North Point to meet Zare and Sonja for some cake ingredient shopping. There were lots of good stuff that we bought. I realised how unappealing sesame sticks are.

Then, we walked to Sonja's house to watch Paranormal Activities. Except, I slept through most of the movie and plugged in to a music player. So I was pretty much listening to 4 Adam Lambert songs over and over again for 1 and a half hours. Thank God that prevented me from getting traumatised!! Her living room had air-conditioning though, so the slumber was comfortable.

We had yummylicious chicken, doritos and hotdogs. Then we made a rainbow platter of cupcakes. I had the yellow mix. Spongebob foreva! Next, we made a lemon cake, except we included blue colouring. I call it the Deceitful Christmas Mountain. But it really is a moon. That's why we named it the Mooncake instead. "Ahhhh...", says Shanice, her sister and I. Teehee. xD It sort of looked like a mountain with the icing that tastes like blueberry. But, it's actually lemon! I know. It sounds gross. It is. But only when you eat it. The cupcakes were the best!

Yay! Pictures were aplenty!

Happy 1st Of December.

2010-12-02T00:25:00.000+08:00

My journey to a greater life starts right here right now. A few hours ago, I started something that will hopefully be forever. 1st of December then. It's a start. Twelve more days to the 12 days of Christmas. I am still excited. :)

1st Of December is an official RuiRui holiday!

Building Bridges Over Peaks & Valleys.

2010-12-01T12:09:00.002+08:00

I love piggy banks! Cause it produces bills and coins for me to spend in the near future. I feel like vlogging my daily QTs. I think that will motivate me to actually do it. Should I? Then I can set up a new website for QT vlogs and bible studies and all that.. :D

You can never imagine how many things are on my table right now. The purpose for putting my computer in the living room is that I wouldn't use it as often. Now I'm sleeping on my couch more often than on my single bed. I have abandoned my own room! Look how that's working out. Dang it. I have a ginormous pile of letters on my desk. And I weird-looking orange piggy bank that contains all the things I'd like to use but am too lazy to take em out. THAT'S good.

So, here's to a forever reigning God. 15 songs by the end of the year! I am excited.

Forever Reign by Hillsong

2010-11-26T20:17:00.002+08:00

You are good
You are good
When there's nothing good in me

You are love
You are love
On display for all to see

You are light
You are light
When the darkness closes in

You are hope
You are hope
You have covered all my sins

You are peace
You are peace
When my fear is crippling

You are true
You are true
Even in my wandering

You are joy
You are joy
You're the reason that I sing

You are life
You are life
In You death has lost its sting

Oh I'm running to Your arms
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough

Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more
You are more
Than my words will ever say

You are Lord
You are Lord
All creation will proclaim

You are here
You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole

You are God
You are God
Of all else I'm letting go

Oh I'm running to Your arms
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough

Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

My heart will sing
No other name
Jesus Jesus

Nice To Know You, Gangster Gentleman :)

2010-11-26T18:17:00.001+08:00

You're a gangster gentleman.
Came backstage to shake my hand.
Took my number, stop and stare.
At first I just didn't care.

Then you did the unexpected.
I was joking but you texted.
And I started feelin excited.
Like the first of December.

Maybe someday this will turn into something.
Maybe somewhere you're out there waiting.
Maybe someday we'll figure it out.
Or else that someday may never come.

I'm just an entertainer.
Never wonderfully greater.
But you're just a spectator.
Who never wandered off.

Strange and unknown you are.
Everyone knows it gets too far.
But I don't know who you are.
You just like me cause of my drums.

So someday I'll teach you how to jam.
Someday I can make you ride the amp.
Or someday you can make me ride some.
Otherwise that someday may never come.

Talk to me and I'll talk to you.
Everybody's waiting, make a move.
I won't believe it until you do.
You know these days are few.

Maybe someday we can play pool.
Maybe someday we'll do what they do.
Like you'll be the rider of the moon.
Wonderin if that someday will come soon.

Gangster gentleman, I still don't know you.
Take me to a movie or a dinner for two.

Maybe someday you'd be the one to confess.
Maybe someday I'll be the girl in that dress.
Maybe someday some gangster gentleman like you.
Will come backstage again to see that someday through.

The Story Of Yesterday

2010-11-25T09:08:00.002+08:00

My prayers have been answered.

I jammed with guitar guy. <3
He joked with me.
I realised Katie might be right about the whole playboy flirt thingy.
That musician guest player by accident blew breath on me.
I got to face the experience.
I got to sing horribly.
Had a private dressing room to chill in.
I love my juniors.
I love my band.
I loved our gig!
Kind of 2nd hug. :/
He said I looked pretty. <3
HOT AND DANGEROUS. <3

A List Of My Likes / Loves.

2010-11-21T23:30:00.004+08:00

I love Jesus.
I love Music.
I love baking, singing, playing, struming, drumming.
I love waking up to the soft touch of my pillow on my cheek.
I love the countryside more than the city.
I love animals.
I love kids.
I love babies.
I love being carefree.
I love childlike innocence.
I love my Daddy.
I love Momma.
I love my sissy.
I love the night air.
I love morning dew.
I absolutely love the little mermaid.
I love the rush of trains passing me by right in my face.
I love vintage and bohemian things.
I love pastel colours.
I love diaries.
I love comedy.
I enjoy watching "The Big Bang Theory", "The Class", "Desperate Housewives", "Mr Bean", "Spongebob Squarepants".
My favourite youtubers are Shaycarl & Shane Dawson.
I love youtube.
I love rings.
I love liprings.
I love hearing and seeing people laugh.
I love to laugh.
I love the Harry Potter series.
I love a good big stage.
I love good music equipment.
I love drumsets of good quality.
I love jamming.
I love fruits.
I love guys who can jam.
I love boys that I love.
I love a good dance song.
I love dancing in my bedroom.
I love giving and receiving.
I love places that aren't crowded.
I love hotels.
I love hotel beds.
I love hotel bathrooms.
I love hotel services.
I love air-conditioning that isn't useless or "North Pole" cold.
I like earning money.
I love writing poetry.
I love dinosaurs.
I love Michael J.
My two childhood favourite artistes are Beyonce and Christina Aguilera.
I love watching how they work behind the scenes.
I love daydreaming.
I love Christmas.
I love hugs.
I like random things.
I love purity.
I like creative people.
I like bakeries.
I love to perform.
I love the French but I love the British more.
I love going to Toys R Us.
I love typewriters.
I love Oreo but I try not to eat them.
I love water.
I love magic.
I love getting love notes.
I love flirting. ;)
I love the rain.
I love comedians.
One of my favourite actors is Julie Andrews.
I love looking at my fishes swim.
I love people who loves me.
I, at times, love life.

More Than Just A G

2010-11-21T22:08:00.002+08:00

"You spat on my face Daddy!"

If I could choose a new accent to have, I would want a British one. XD It's way too cute! I swear I could go on and on for the whole day at home like that.

Seriously speaking, I am struggling to make a transition that will involve more of eternal values. But I think it's a slow process and each day gives me a chance to evolve and experience the highs and lows. Inevitable.

Oh how I love the sight of playful innocence. X) I swear, kids are a hell lot of FUN.

My Odd Odd Sabbath.

2010-11-14T23:44:00.002+08:00

Going round town on the Sabbath.
Started really cold and wet.
Boarded the bus that went the other way.
Guess just who I met.

A lost little lamb wanting directions.
Some Terrace that he wished to go.
But I had no clue of any sort.
I was sorry I didn't know the road.

The ride to wherever was long.
I thought how Mom would feel.
I kind of knew what I got into.
When I saw the sign, "Redhill".

Cause that's what my sis told me.
This coach goes to chua chu kang.
I failed to hear clear or see the fine prints.
That said, " Harbourfront".

Oh well, at least there's trains.
I decided to enjoy the journey.
I slept abit and watched the rain.
Saw the bus splash water on the street.

Finally we stopped at Ghost's Place.
Looked like I was at the beach.
It's so gloomy and i was so alone.
So I walked back to the MRT.

Surprising how they dressed today.
I was totally wasting my time.
Mohawks, tattooes & odd stares.
Coming all the way here, I've lost my mind.

Train is coming, train is coming.
The ground rumbled at my feet.
The cops were onboard like there's a bomb.
So I kept myself discreet.

One hour later, it's still pouring.
And I was walking back home 518.
I love the sound of heels on water.
Stepping in time like the sound of music.

It's so surreal, my odd Sabbath day.
Spent time being ridiculous me.
Finally I could open my pink door.
Back to the familiar security.

Outrageous.

2010-11-10T22:27:00.001+08:00

My chest gets hard.
I'm torn apart. By the horror.
I feel like screaming,
Really screaming out my anger.

I'm really shattered,
By the matter. It's all your fault.
No thanks to you, mud-faced fool.
Red-handed you're caught.

I'm considered nothing.
Bitter-hearted like an,
Outrage! Get off the stage.
Outrage! A hopeless case.
Outrage! It's an outrage,
And you're outrageous.

You killed a soul, but no one knows.
Recurring nightmares.
Go fly a kite, criminal mind.
How black are your hands?

More vile than a, real Deatheater.
Loathe you so much.
You're hard to trust, keep me from us.
Just Bite The Dust.

I'm considered nothing.
Bitter-hearted like an,
Outrage! Get off the stage.
Outrage! A hopeless case.
Outrage! It's an outrage.
And you're outrageous.

Well I can't take it,
You can't erase it.
I just can't face it no more!

Lost Little Lotte

2010-11-08T23:05:00.005+08:00

I'm a timid little bird,
Who knows nowhere to turn.
Aimless flapping of my wings.
Where for my home, I yearn.

The clouds floating in the blue.
Makes no compass for me.
Sad to say, the sun is of no use.
It blinds my little black beads.

Once or twice, it gets too bleak.
I chirp but no one hears.
The Earth just seems so unfriendly.
My path never was so clear.

Then light meets the land.
And I receive my courage anew.
To set on a journey to search again.
For the tree in which I grew.

I See You.

2010-11-05T22:34:00.006+08:00

Out the street, in the train.
I saw people went and came.
Walking up the staircase, I saw your face.

But it was not, it's someone else.
What have I done to myself.
I keep dreaming, hallucinating of you.

I'm going down and getting crazy.
Want you around but you can't be.
You're so sweet, you're so good.
There's no need for any proof.
Everywhere, I see you.

You're the bestest friend I've had.
Light me up, when I'm sad.
When you leave just like that, it makes me mad.

Maybe it's just my thoughts,
My head's confused by it all.
Every man looks just like you, why they do.

I'm going down and getting crazy.
Want you around but you can't be.
You're so sweet, you're so good.
There's no need for any proof.
Everywhere, I see you.

Wondering when you'll be at my window.
Waiting for me to say hello.
But if I meet with your last goodbye,
There goes my great surprise.

Hoping right here's where you'll stay.
Thought you've finally found a way.

Come home, come home.
Don't let me go down.
Don't make me crazy.
Just say you'll stay for eternity.

You are the only.
Don't make me lonely.
My heart turns blue.
When I don't see you.

Battle Of The Bearded

2010-11-02T00:59:00.002+08:00

I detest guys who do not apologise when they were clearly in the wrong.
I hate guys who do not mind hurting others by teasing them aloud; Not even caring if they had real feelings. I hate guys who crack dirty jokes, so filthy it came through as though they were truly perverts. I loathe guys who take themselves too seriously & punish themselves even in the slightest slip-up.

I can't tolerate guys who just don't know how to talk. I can't tolerate those who never drew a line between play and work. This is how mild retards form.

I know it's harsh and cruel for me to ridicule like this, but it is part of how I look at things, or guys(men and boys).

Anyway, I found a new friend today, thanks to Khadijah. We had a blast walking around the bookshop and the supermarket. I named him, "Faizal". XD

Internet Dating Never Works.

2010-10-17T17:30:00.003+08:00

I've tasted everything.
Every twist, every hidden mystery.
I can see your motive, your evil schemes.
You're not in love with me.

I may play along with you.
Behind the screen you thrive in liberty.
Like you have me tricked.
But you've picked the wrong girl to break.
I don't give and just not take.

Seems like all of you out there,
Are the same anywhere.
Your pity votes have taken a toll on me.
We never were and will never be.

Forget second chances if you ever change.
The minds liars have can never rearrange.
You think you are king over me.
But I'm like a fox in the bush,
Waiting to strike you little monkeys.

Shakalaka One More Paper!

2010-10-13T21:37:00.002+08:00

Why are these dudes so vulgar. Why don't sin trigger guilt anymore? Surely if they are right with You, they would do all it takes to remove all that isn't of You. Right? I mean, it's not exactly glorifying to see Your people sinning so openly and deliberately. That's just not right.

"My Dear SiRui"

2010-10-12T13:02:00.004+08:00

"You reacted so much calmer and stronger in character and you show me how creative and positive you are. And your love for arts and music is such a nice surprise to me."

My dear SiRui,
Is everything okay?
I hope you're doing well, even when I'm far away.

Miss you my dear SiRui,
There's so much to say.
But it's hard to write them all in just 1 message.

I'm sorry my dear SiRui,
It's your birthday.
I was so stuck in June, I forgot all about it.

Bravo my dear SiRui,
You conquered once again.
Your composition is so wonderful, it blew me away.

Love you my dear SiRui,
Every night and day.
Soon we'll meet again, you decide where to go okay?

See you my dear SiRui,
Maybe sometime in May.
I promise I'll remember to write to you, every single day.

Thank you my dear SiRui,
For that dedicative bouquet
Of poetry and music, I'd have it no other way.

Survive Til We Die

2010-10-07T16:02:00.002+08:00

We don't need no money.
We don't need no luck.
We don't need nobody's help.
We just work til it's dark.

Mama you don't have to worry.
Mama you don't have to cry.
And I heard what you said yesterday.
We'll survive til we die.

I said,
We don't need your sympathy.
We don't need your dimes.
We got each other's back,
We'll just work overtime.

Oh Papa, he'll come home.
Papa won't say goodbye.
And I know what he did last summer.
But we'll survive til we die.

I don't want your advice.
I don't need those extra words.
I can do it myself.
I can grind in the dirt.

So, don't waste your precious tears.
Don't ask me to rely.
And you can tell me how wrong this is,
But I'll survive til I die.
We'll survive til we die.

I Didn't Know I Wasn't A Close Friend.

2010-10-06T17:34:00.004+08:00

Was it my way of making things brighter? Or did the influence of fantasy fail to charm? Guess I'm nothing but a hound dog, cryin all the time.

Sorry, but I'm born this way. If it bothers you so much, I'd wish I knew when we really drifted apart. So you wouldn't have to tell me yourself and have it come as a surprise.

Maybe quirk freaks like me never meant to really have close-knit friends because we can never be truely and fully accepted for who we are, can we? I'm just not normal and I lost the chance to follow the ones who were like me and bore a mindset like a quirk freak.

Then I start to miss the people who were like me but had to leave. All good things come to an end? What more can we expect? That we would reunite for some box of junk memories we'd wish we never had? There has never been a group or team. I had to be naive and believe we were all equal in friendship without ranks. Obviously, I was proven to be direly wrong.

I wish I'd remember more vividly the moments in the park, on your shoulders, in your arms, in a piano lesson, in your study room. I wish I'd a whole family. I wish you'd come back home today, finding me waiting for you so you could carry me to bed, through the darkness. I wish I were light enough and you, strong enough to give me one more piggyback ride down the staircase. I wish the two of you had worked it all out. I wish we needn't wait for each other's letters once every few months. I wish I needn't worry if you failed to reply. I wish I knew where you were and how you were. I wish you needn't be on a hospital bed that often. I wish you'd live to see me die. I wish you'd live to walk me down the aisle. I wish things didn't have to change.

For The Sake Of Us.

2010-10-03T16:42:00.002+08:00

He came down from the heaven,
To be all man.
He sacrificed everything he had,
To be of blood and flesh.

And he chose to shed his blood.
For the sake of our sinful heart.
Even if we had to hurt him.
Still Jesus came to do his part.

We used to be so indifferent,
Of Christ the Lord.
But he still loved us, no matter what.
Our sins, he forgot.

For he chose to bear the pain,
Of thorns piercing through his veins.
We didn't know him, but he knew us.
Suffered on the cross, for the God he trusts.

Jesus, Jesus.

2010-10-03T16:37:00.004+08:00

In spite of all the torture,
For wretched souls.
He came from heaven,
To clean our toes.

In spite of all the bitter,
He had to bear.
He still chose to love us,
And he chose to care.

Jesus, Jesus.
You're the king of all kings.
Father, Father.
To me, you've redeemed.

Mighty savior,
Thanks for cleansing my soul.
Holy healer,
With you, I'll follow.

In spite of all the setbacks,
He had to face.
He stood firm in the Lord,
Spoke of mercy and grace.

In spite of pain and evil,
He came to die.
Then suddenly we realise,
To almighty God we cry.

Jesus, Jesus.
You're the king of all kings.
Father, Father.
To me, you've redeemed.

Mighty savior,
Thanks for cleansing my soul.
Holy healer,
With you, I'll follow.

Happy Children's Day!

2010-10-02T21:28:00.012+08:00

He loves himself,
Treat him well,
He tends to smile, too much.

Mr bright eyes,
Don't tell white lies,
The coolest guy, I know.

He's bubbly,
Has all that he needs,
He's funny,
Happy-go-lucky.
He's one of a kind,
Got work on his mind,
But plays and doesn't stop,
He's spongebob.
He's spongebob.

He treasures friends,
He says he can,
Do anythin' at all.

He's all bout love,
His spatula,
Pineapples, cars, and Gary.

I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, for the krabby patty.
He's ready, He's ready, he's ready for his liscenced machine. (Mrs Puff: Oh dear me!)

He's bubbly,
Has all that he needs.
He's funny,
Kind-hearted and sweet.
He's one of a kind,
Got work on his mind.
And plays and never stops.
He's spongebob.
He's spongebob.

If I Could Just Do It Well.

2010-10-01T20:54:00.003+08:00

There's the little moments of isolation.
And the lack of motivation.
When my favourite song would stop,
And I'd press play again.

It's the thoughts of winter's loneliness.
The satirical, the summer's night dust.
A tingle that disrupts my focus,
Bringing back the opposite of end.

Peering up and above the clouds,
The water only wait to pour out.
Then the only significance,
Lies on way back when.

These are the times of trouble,
When people are tired but they can't sleep.
These are the kind of forced-in marvels,
That angels cry, camouflaged perfectly.

This is when I crave and indulge.
Truth is, the candle of hope must melt.
I can't control my empty self.
But I would, if I could do it well.

Thin

2010-09-30T20:24:00.005+08:00

Why can't I embrace myself?
Accept all of my flaws, all of my cells.
And feel okay,
About me every single day.

Usually I'm spontaneous.
But now my mind is getting worse.
From good to bad.
Opps, I think I'm getting fat.

Just wanna work out til I've burn all my carbs.
I keep blaming myself,
For failing to work my arms.

So why aren't I thin?
Why am I not losing to win.
Why must I eat, then look at my feet.
Cause I am not thin.

I wish I didn't buy ice cream.
Thought I could handle it.
But I'm ashamed,
I hate that I'm still the same.

Why can't I see the positive,
I just can't seem to make believe.
That I am feeling fine.
I just can't cross the line.

So insecure, I'm so demure, there is no cure.
This one's outta my hands.
Can't appreciate my legs again.

I want to be thin.
I wanna fit in everything.
Wear all of my clothes,
Don't feel too gross,
Cause I'm more thin.

I'm just too shy.
Lost my confident mind.
Don't think that I'm wrong,
Just wish to feel strong.
Not ugly or shy.

Why aren't I thin?
Why don't I look good in everything.
Why must I eat, then look at my feet.
Cause I am not thin.

Mannequin, Katy Perry

Missin' You & Your Big Nose.

2010-09-30T18:58:00.003+08:00

I visited Xiaxue's website last night and watched her wacky "Guide To Life" webisodes. It was unsurprisingly insightful and funny. I suggest you watch her learn some martial arts if you need to laugh. Or the clip where she discover fun body facts. It is either ridiculously disgusting or the highlarious-est post EVA.

Okay, I'll spill the beans. I can't hold it any longer. In the video of fun body facts, guess what. SHE DROOLED LIKE A TOTAL RETARD. LOLGASMMMMM. Okay that wasn't meant to be a mean remark.

There's nothing better than to walk to your balcony, admire the warm sunset with the cool evening breeze, caressing your cheeks. You close your eyes and think of nothing. It smelled of sincere home-like assurance, to me.

Tomorrow Is The Day Of Patience.

2010-09-30T18:52:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I like the isolation.

I've always thought that the perfect way to think through a tough situation was:

- Me sitting along a nearly empty hallway.
- Rain drizzles in front of me.
- Atmosphere smells of fresh dew and cooked fish.
- Maybe some acoustic background music for some effect.
- Would I be eating?
- Yes.

Your Voice Sounds Sexy When It's Hoarse.

2010-09-27T19:24:00.004+08:00

OHMYGAD.

Tomorrow will officially, and you heard this directly from me, be the day of my return after all these slack shots. Well, even though I am writing to you right now, my dark eyes are stuck to the tv screen in my living room. It's the amazing race. I tawt I taw a youtuberrrr.

OHMYGAD.

I do not want to face the wrath of my retests and homework that has been amassed over the last week + 1 day. I am not in the mood to do all the extra stuff. I just wanna do my year end papers and rock Halloween. That's all that's in my mind.

And british boys. ;] I saw curly-haired, specs-wearing british boys on the pixel screen. I tried searching for their profiles on the googlio, but I failed to succeed. Nevertheless, their pretty faces are still ingrained in my head.

My mom has just started watching this film, which is like the prelude of the clip and is already thinking that it's a good show. Then she just took off into the washroom just like that, leaving the tv on its own. I thought she liked it. Wouldn't she want to watch it..

OHMYGAD.

My school books are scattered willy-nilly on the carpeted floor. And I totally nailed two poems! Yay moi. And, not to mention, Italian! Thanks to Nancy Drew & the phantom of Venice, I gained some knowledge on Italy and its language.

So, here are my last words before I bid you adieu:

Alla destra del fiore rosa, le guance abbastanza soddisfatti i miei occhi.

Getting A ScratchBook.

2010-09-25T13:56:00.002+08:00

If you are ever lonely, write a snail mail and insert it into the post box. Within the year, you'll probably get a surprise reply. Of course if you state your address.

So here it is:

Anne Page

Blk 518
Choa Chu Kang
Street 51
#08-10
Singapore 680518

Next thing, I am going to do this big thing. It could be small for all I know.
Or it could be islandwide. Actually, I don't even know what it is. But I know it's gonna make your butt big. No I'm just blabbering. I'm getting a scratchbook!

If you've got hands free of sticky substances, you just might receive something wacky from yours truly. So, keep your bright eyes peeled for nonsense. And you could see your handprint on my scratchbook!

Don't forget to send magazine pages to Anne! :S Luv ya.

Hello Goodbye (Part 2)

2010-09-21T19:18:00.002+08:00

Given the opportunity to take a break from the hectic life that I led a few days ago, I have come to realise where this is all going. Everything's making so much sense. Sis is like my own personal teacher. She used to be my almost best friend. Mom has never been more kind and sacrificial. I've never went so long without starting a fight with her. My friends have been the greatest help. I talked to friends I've rarely talked to just because of what I'm going through now.

So many happenings made me realise what I'm fighting for. I've never been clearer in my entire life than right now right here. Or maybe I have.. Or maybe I'll fall out of it someday.. But I know my own Big Daddy Cane up there will show me the way back home. Hahaha.. I owe it all to him. :) I miss everyone so much..

Good news is!! Watch out for a little sparkle in my soon return!! (SLAYBABES!!)

Love you all. You guys press on to study until 5 weeks later!! ;] And as for me, I'll press on to prevent scratching myself. Hahaha. Shout out to Kok Tiam, Eddy and Yu An!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING SO SWEET, CARING AND HELPFUL!!! :)

You & Me - Nostalgia.

2010-09-10T23:28:00.000+08:00

I feel nostalgic as I play
another Fall Out Boy song.
One of the things we shared
together and sang along.

Oh how I wish I could relive
these sweet sweet memories.
Barely 100 metres away,
You shouted I Love U to me.

You told me how you felt
when you wrapped my fingers.
For the first time,
I felt exactly more than similar.

Up on the hills,
away from all forms of humanity.
It was just you and me,
Right there in reality.

Stare At You And SIGH

2010-09-10T22:32:00.000+08:00

Tonight I lay by the water's edge.
Sleepless you come by and take my hand.
Again and again, I watch you light up the world.
And I can't hold it inside.

Timeless your face meets mine.
Try to tell what I can't hide.
But it's too much to handle for me right now.
Just wanna stare at you and sigh.

When I'm about to grab my phone.
You call incidentally known.
You always say it's luck but what if it's right.
How am I s'posed to feel like.

I've never had to feel this way.
To act and think that it's okay.
But this time, it's different I swear. Tonight,
I just wanna stare at you and sigh.

It's not the same story.
The background and lighting falls into place.
And I shake even when it's not cold.
There's another pair of hands to hold.

Walk away and the window cracks.
What's the use of decoding facts.
I wish I could pour my feelings out like rain. But I..
Just wanna stare at you and sigh.

Together, We'll Get Out Of This Mess.

2010-09-08T21:25:00.002+08:00

The people keep snapping in on me.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13
Cast all your burdens on the Lord and he shall sustain you. Psalm 55:22

Feels Like I'm Living A Nightmare.

2010-09-02T21:32:00.004+08:00

You wouldn't believe what just occurred in my kitchen. This evening at around six pm, I took out the one of the packet fish I had to defrost for dinner later. Naturally, I expected Mom to come home early to cook me a nice homey meal like she promised to. Of course, her workload was unkind to her yet again, inevitably causing me to have to make the trip to the kitchen to put the fish back into the freezer.

However, as I approach the defrosted stinky fish in the transparent packet and lifted it from its place, it started to wiggle. OMG. It was not just a mere imagination of a hungry girl suffering from hallucinations. It was one hundred percent authentic.

The fish came to live as if it was just frozen temporarily and would haunt the first person that came into view after it's been revived. I let out an involuntary shriek.

The next thing I knew, I was lying on my comfy bed yet feeling not a touch of the pillow's softness but drenched completely in cold sweat, numbed by the chilly air-conditioner. What a nightmare.

My Life Is An Amazement To Myself.

2010-09-02T21:15:00.003+08:00

The teacher's day concert was better than I'd expected. :) Oh man.. I've been dreaming about that for so long. OOH YEAHHH!!

All we wanna do is chill at the jamming studio like it's a beach. It's no fun pretending to be a socialite. The oh so magical box of wonderment is too vast for words. You'll be amazed like OHMYGOD. And then it all comes down to us rocking out as if to a whole stadium of exuberant spectators.

I feel 'it' coming round. :) I know 'it' is gonna come real fast at my face. I love how 'it' makes me feel and smile in reverie. I just can't tolerate how 'it' never fails to make me wait. Like for forever. Guhh.

I believe my head is on the brink of being totalled like the P bear. I swear, I have no life! I don't even have time for God. :( I'm really upset, possibly drowning in depression. Thank God there's still aweshum music. WAWWWWW. Guess what's on the ever-satisfying radio right this instant!!

On The Other Side

2010-08-31T21:24:00.003+08:00

I feel like an underdog sometimes.
Sitting around, wasting time.
Like I'm never a part of anything.

I feel like the world looks down on me.
Stuck with who I ought to be.
But it isn't working out,
I'm tired of feeling like this.

My life's not like yours.
I can't find what I'm looking for.
I don't know why I still try.
To get to the other side.
And I can walk through the doors.
But no one will be,
On the other side.

Sometimes I feel like a loner.
Out in the open.
And not a soul can see me through.

At times I feel so scared.
That everyone would leave me there.
Lost in the middle, I'm useless to the world.

My life's not like yours.
I can't find what I'm looking for.
I don't know why I still try.
To get to the other side.
And I can walk through the doors.
But no one will be,
On the other side.

It's like I'm knocking on
Glass doors.
But there's no one home.
I'm taking a risk.
Trying to find who I am to you.
I hide when I shed a tear.
So that you won't come near.
Then you will think it's perfect,
When it's not.
Is this my fault.

My life's not like yours.
I can't find what I'm looking for.
I don't know why I still try.
To get to the other side.
And I can walk through the doors.
But no one will be,
On the other side.